Rituals and Tradition

Christmas can be a confusing time for many children who are recently discovering that their parents have been leaving presents for them and not Santa as they had been told.

I, personally, believe we need a new way to celebrate Christmas. I am very torn between the love of bright lights and seeing children open presents and a hatred of commercialism and lies.

This year, my nephew learned the terrible truth that there is--according to some--no Santa Claus. That is just how he said it, too. "I can't believe they lied to me all this time."

I can remember hearing of a tradition of the Kachina in Pueblo cultures where children are woken from sleep and taken to a mysterious place where men and women in masks are dancing. These men and women hit the children, yell, and berate them. After being abused, the children are taken outside where the adults remove their masks and reveal their identities as well-known aunts, uncles, cousins, mothers, fathers...

I am sure those Pueblo children feel the same way: "I can't believe they lied to me!"

I am very interested in knowing the cultural purpose of lying to children about Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and the Sandman....

Compounding the outrage--although I have yet to hear my nephew's full reaction--he was also told that little elves would come throughout the year to take back his toys if he was bad.

Is there a way to share the beauty of faith and hope and giving without lying? Is there something in the experience of learning all the adults who cared about you lied to you that helps us survive as a culture? I am just not sure.

I would much rather that we tone down the commercialism, appreciate getting gifts, be content with knowing that much of what we get comes from out parents and family, but also being told that sometimes amazing things happen through the spirit of giving--embodied in the image of a fat man in a red suit.

I am sure that there is much comfort in knowing that if no one else in the world cares, there is Santa who knows as well as you do that you have been nice and who will repay you and shower you with what you deserve. I might have felt that way once.

I would like to believe we can evolve as a culture and find a way to celebrate in a sustainable way. I hope we can find a way to instill hope and joy and give without the sadness of being lied to.